Photoshop

I've been thinking a lot about how women are portrayed in media such as tv shows, advertisements, etc.  And at times it has made me wish that photoshop was illegal.  Because who can look like that?  To me it just doesn't seem possible yet there it is.  Staring me in the face nearly everywhere I go.  I think this is why I like the idea of living in the UK so much.  Because there are strict laws against the use of photoshop.  That it can't be used in beauty ads as that is lying about how a product works or in magazines etc.  Because not only is it unrealistic, it is also selling lies to your customers.  I like this.  We are spoon fed lies nearly every day.  About services, products, nearly everything.  And it makes me wonder just why we think any of this is ok.  Why is selling lies such a good thing?  Because you make money?  True you might make money.  But at a cost.  It costs us our pride, confidence and self esteem.  And ultimately our trust.  I use to look at these beauty ads and nearly worship the products they would sell knowing that if I bought it I could look just like the women in the ads.  Then I took a photoshop class in college.  And I learned it is easy to hide the imperfections of an individual.  To give them that smooth skin, no wrinkles or blemishes.  Bags and dark circles under the eyes.  Thin out their thighs, hips and waist.  It makes me well angry in all honesty.  Annoyed, irked however you want to call it.  This is damaging to women everywhere!  It is telling us that we can be this thin and fit.  NO WE CAN'T!  Everyone's body is different!  In nearly every way.  If you stood me next to someone who was my exact height and weight I bet you dollars to donuts our bodies would look completely different compared.  Because we are not the same.  And trying to sell this is horrible!  It's degrading and above all it is disgusting if not damaging.  It causes eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression.  Show me something real!  A real woman!  Not this fake fantasy.  But it is not only the media that is to blame for these images and the harm that they do.  It is on us as well.  We cannot blame them entirely.  For it is how we perceive these images and how we allow the younger generation of women to react to them.  Mothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, etc.  We can't truly protect anyone from this.  However we can teach them, younger women, that they don't need to be this.  That they are fine how they are.  How they should perceive these images and messages. That they are beautiful!  But we don't!  And for that I say shame!  I am a hypocrite true as I have been affected by these images.  But I fought through it.  I found salvation, I opened my eyes, my mind and my heart.  It was not easy.  It took YEARS.  But in the end it was worth it.  I found a new sense of self. True slowly the media is changing how it depicts beauty.  It is something.  But still.  Without us there to show younger girls, heck women of any age, that these images and messages should not govern how we feel about ourselves.  How we are supposed to look.  It will only make the journey just as rough.  And even more difficult.  Allowing us to fall even further behind.

Poem of the day

Phenomenal Woman By Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Every woman should read this poem.  Rather sexy in my opinion and it voices something to me that everyone, men and women, should feel.  Comfortable and confident in your own skin.  That you have your head on your shoulders.  No need to change who you are.  Because you are phenomenal!

First Post Ever! YAY!

Well I contemplated what should my first post be about?  There are so many things on my mind.  Honestly it is hard to decide which one I believe is the most important to me right now.  Well here goes.

Over the years I have been in a heated war with myself.  With the nagging, negative voice that would beat me down to submission.  And I am probably not the only one who has dealt with this. This voice was keeping me in a constant state of fear.  I call this voice Esther.  But Esther is not alone.  Because on her side she has the voice and opinions of society.  The society that tells us who we should be.  What we should do.  How we should act.  Force feeding us this message through media outlets.  And it wasn't until I turned 23 that for the first time in years I found my eyes open.  I stopped and looked at the world around me and saw something truly magical.  I saw the unique nature of individuals.  The light that glows within our hearts and minds.  The magnificent spirit that inhabits each of us.  But looming over I saw a shadow.  The darkness of societal pressure that aimed to suppress and extinguish the light.  I was once a victim to this.  Allowing it to control my every action, my every word etc.  It crippled me.  Turned me into someone foreign.  Someone that I didn't even know or could relate to.  She wasn't me.  Before I continue I must state something for you to understand.  I am a large advocate of therapy.  And you may see me talk about it quite a bit. It was through this, reading quite meaningful works such as The Art of Happiness and Revolution from Within that I found my inner strength.  And I realized something that I am sure we have all heard at least once.  There is nothing wrong with who you are.  As long as who you are does not harm you or anyone else then why is it so bad?  Because we or really people are afraid of what is different.  And to add to that, most of all we are afraid of rejection.  Fear of what is not "normal".  I put this in quotations because normal is relative to our own personal perception and values.  What seems normal to me may not seem normal to you.  And as long as it harms no one or thing, including yourself, embrace the light within you.  Nurture that spirit to fly to the stars and beyond.  Because within you is a magnificent being that belongs to only you.  No one can be you but you.  So I ask of anyone who reads this to fight against that nagging voice.  Give it a name if you must, it surely helped me, but tell it that it is wrong.  Push against the pressure and rise above it.  Question normal.  But most important of all.  Love.  Love you.  Love everything little thing about you.  Every flaw and every imperfection.  Every freckle and every scar.  Because I do